16th June 2019

Care Givers.

I’m writing this blog as a tribute to those who care for loved ones. For the past three years, I have had the privilege to work part-time as a volunteer counsellor for a charity that supports carers. It is estimated that 6.5 people in the UK provide unpaid care to a family member, neighbour or friend, this equates to one in eight people. Many carers juggle school, college, full or part-time jobs, with their caring role.  A large number of carers give up their jobs to become full-time carers, this can become a lonely and isolating experience, as a consequence of this, carers can experience both physical and mental ill-health. I have supported carers at different stages in their caregiving journey for some, at the beginning and for others at the end. Every carer has a different combination of life circumstances. However, consistent common themes in the carers I worked with included: anxiety, depression, anger, grief, guilt, resentment and hopelessness.  The role of a caregiver becomes part of your identity –  you are responsible for the well-being of another, much like the role of a mother. This involves managing personal and practical care, providing a safe environment, whilst constantly being vigilant, putting their needs first and making sure that the cared- for wants for nothing. Being able to feel upbeat and positive when you’re under such pressure can become impossible. In my experience carer’s emotions can swing from immense sadness to resentment and anger. They then feel guilty about feeling […]
17th August 2019

Healthy boundaries.

  This blog is to help those of us who feel like we cannot say no and as a result, become frustrated and overwhelmed, because we have spread ourselves too thinly. Often we can feel torn between promises to family, friends, work responsibilities, financial obligations. Having too many commitments that emotionally and physically drain us can lead us to feel that we are not in control of our lives. Healthy boundaries are crucial for emotional, physical and relational health, as well as our care and respect towards ourselves and others. When there is no clear partition between our and others’ needs and feelings, relationships can suffer and eventually may result in feelings of resentment, disappointment, or even violation. Most people are not trying to violate our boundaries—they just aren’t aware of what they are, this is because, often, we are not clear with ourselves and ultimately others about what we want or need So, what are boundaries? They are decisions that we make often subconsciously, which direct our behaviour and the way we interact with others. Another way of looking at boundaries is seeing them as to where we decide to draw our line in the sand. To better understand where our lines lie we must listen to our inner voice that says “I will go that far and no further.” Emotional boundaries are about respecting our own feelings and knowing our worth. It is crucial that we care for our own needs before we can have healthy relationships and […]